It’s Mother’s Day, and we all plan to show exactly how much we love our mothers today, right?

Sure, but the brunches, flowers and gifts dotting Mother’s Day celebrations nationwide are a contradiction: Americans spend millions to honor moms, but American mothers shoulder burdens their government and the culture at large don’t seem to care about, refuse to fix and barely acknowledge. American moms are poorer, unhealthier and less happy than their counterparts in other countries, all as President Donald Trump’s administration wants to convince more women to join their ranks. 

“The stresses parents and caregivers have today are being passed to children in direct and indirect ways, impacting families and communities across America,” former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said in a 2024 advisory. “Yet in modern society, parenting is often portrayed as a less important, less valued pursuit. Nothing could be further from the truth.” 

One of the biggest burdens faced by U.S. moms who choose to take on what is often called “the toughest job in the world” is simply how to feed, clothe and house their families. They face tremendous burdens as they seek to contribute financially to their families’ well being, particularly when their children are young. 

MONEY PROBLEMS

The average cost to enroll a child in daycare is $15,000 annually, according to the 2025 Cost of Care report. That cost is one many families cannot meet.

And even when they can, moms take the hit. They are more likely than dads to say that their work lives are affected by their difficulty finding adequate childcare, according to a report by the Center for American Progress. Some families struggle so much to pay the financial costs and manage the difficulties of children’s lives that mothers will resign from the workforce, an act that can both crater a family’s actual budget and, in cases when women are contributing toward retirement accounts, prevent them from saving at the rate they need. 

That financial burden on mothers, and parents in general, is one of the root causes of a mental health crisis so acute that Murthy addressed it in “Parents Under Pressure,” his 2024 advisory. Policy solutions are few and far between.

In 2023, 33% of parents reported feeling high levels of stress, compared 20% of other adults. Prolonged stress, like that experienced by people raising children, can be a major problem. 

THE STRESS OF IT ALL

“41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function and 48% say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults (20% and 26%, respectively),” Murthy’s report said.

These are particular dangers for mothers. Women are, on average, more likely to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder than men are, according to the National Institute for Mental Health. In particular, women can be in real danger in the months and first few years after they give birth.

Even as children age, the pressures don’t wane. The average parent is juggling five different care arrangements for their children regularly, including babysitters, daycare/school and relatives, but 48% say it’s still not enough to meet their needs, according to the Cost of Care report. Again, policy solutions never seem to gain traction.

For mothers who are immigrants or have immigrant family members, particularly those who are undocumented, the presence of officers from Immigration and Customs Enforcement in their communities can add to their parenting stresses. These moms have to worry about how to handle the needs of children who worry about losing their parents or other beloved adults to deportation or who are traumatized by seeing or interacting with authorities who are deporting people.

THE MOMS ARE NOT OK

All of this contributes to moms being desperately unhappy — the most unhappy in what’s called the western world, in fact. They don’t have good choices. When they can work outside the home, they find that their children’s needs are inflexible, and their employers, despite having the ability to offer moms the needed flexibility to handle family affairs, often decline to do so. 

Even moms who care for their families full-time and don’t work outside the home find themselves equally miserable, battling doubts and overwhelming responsibilities that are sometimes made worse by co-parents who don’t pull their weight.

Meanwhile, as mothers juggle these pressures, the Trump administration says it wants to make it easier for more women to become mothers as the nation’s fertility rate sits near record lows, mostly by offering a $5,000 bond to new mothers. 

Critics say such a bond is insulting, given that it doesn’t address any of the real issues women have in taking care of children — and because the average cost to raise a child to adulthood in the U.S. hovers around $300,000.

This Mother’s Day, let’s acknowledge the work mothers do by addressing their real problems and finding policy solutions and supporting new cultural norms that will help them be wealthier, healthier and happier.

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